Pauline Durban, British Born Founder Of An American Company Designing Clothes For Women Over Fifty, Still Wears High Heels And Finds Time To Keep Up With Her Favorite Soap OperasThis was my first conversation with Pauline, and I was blown away! I did read on Paulines’s website that she is from England, so when I heard her lovely accent I knew I was in for a treat!
Pauline Durban is the Founder of cabotparticlematters, a company dedicated to designing clothes for women over fifty, so I thought it was fitting that we get to know her. We laughed quite a bit during the interview, as Pauline loves to laugh and she clearly enjoys her work. When I first approached her for the interview, her first response was, “I don’t think I’m that interesting…” I beg to differ…
Let’s begin by having you tell us a little about yourself, how old you are (if you wish to share), where you live, where you were born, and your family.
As you can tell, I’m not from America. I came here
And then I met him, and I’m still here.
I live in Lake Balboa, near my office in Van Nuys, California. I like the LA lifestyle. I just turned 62,(in 2018) but I like to say really I’m only 15.5. I’m a leap year baby born on Feb 29th, which means I only have a real birthday every 4 years.
As my uncle said to me recently, “Oh my god, you’re going to be 16 and that’s going to be real trouble!”
My family is all in England. My son was out here with me. He came to California when he was seventeen. He would be back and forth and then in 2010 after spending most of his adult life in California, he decided he wanted to go back and live in England and experience life there.
And, here’s what’s quite ironic – while he was back in England he met a girl he’s engaged to now – and she’s from Irvine, California. How ironic is that? He goes back to England and meets an American. I go back to England once or twice a year depending on what’s going on. I was there last year for my mom’s 80th birthday. And I have a hard time saying this out loud, but I’m going to be there in July for my son’s 40thbirthday. How did that happen? I always say I had him when I was 10! It’s a long way to go but I go back as much as I can to spend time with my family.
What’s the quirkiest, most interesting, thing about you?
When you told me you were going to ask me this question I thought, I have no idea. I asked a couple of people – they all said my sense of humor. One of my friends said, “Not everyone gets it.” It’s an English thing.
We can come across as mean when we’re being funny, and I have to kind of curb that a little bit because Americans may not get my humor. I’ll tell you a funny story – years and years ago an American friend and I went out with some English friends of mine who were visiting LA, and we did the English thing, the insults and the banter with each other all night. And when we left my friend said to me, “I thought they were your friends?” And I said they are my really good friends. She said, “But you were so mean to each other!”
I said that’s because we like each other. It’s a British thing. I don’t think I’m interesting. I do something every day – I watch two soap operas, and I’ve been doing that for 26 years. And that’s something no one expects from me. When I say watch, I mean I don’t sit down and watch it – it’s on my TV while I’m doing something else. I tape the shows every day.
I watch The Young And The Restless and General Hospital. I know one of the actresses on The Young and The Restless, and we were at a party recently talking, and I was bringing her up to date on what was going on. She said I can’t believe you’re still watching it! It’s a habit! I got introduced to them when I was in a roommate situation and the girls were watching it.
When, and why, did you start your company, cabotparticlematters?
I was getting ready to go to a party and I couldn’t find anything to wear – we all go through that, right? My thing was my arms were falling apart and just not what they used to be. One of the reasons for that was I lost weight very fast at one time. So, my flabby arms I no longer wanted to be showing off.
Every top I pulled out either didn’t cover my arms or exposed my tummy that I didn’t want to be showing off. And I said this is ridiculous, I can do this. This is the missing piece to the fashion industry, where women could go to one place and find tops that cover your arms and your belly and your backside. And that was when the idea hit me. Bear in mind, I had no fashion industry experience. I’d never run an online store.
People told me afterward that you know those are the two hardest industries to get into. I’m glad I didn’t know ahead of time! Not that it would have made a difference. And that was where it started. That was in 2012. Then I had to find out how you did it because, you know, clothes don’t magically appear.
I went to visit some wholesalers – and most of the wholesalers sell cheap stuff from China. That’s not where I wanted to go with cabotparticlematters, so I had to get them made myself. I had to find someone to help me with that.
There’s more than just making the clothes, selling them and sending them out.
There’s a process you have to go through. And the fabric was the other thing. I went through so many different fabrics and said no, that’s not right, that one’s not right. And then they said to me, you know we have this micro modal fabric – it’s more expensive but it might be what you’re looking for.
I was in love! It’s breathable and great for older women going through “power surges,” it’s not heavy, it travels well. I always tell women, if you’re in a hotel and it’s got a few wrinkles, get the hairdryer out and that will get rid of the wrinkles.
You can wash it, hang it up and all the wrinkles fall out. So that was how it all came about. It took me a year to go through the process of learning about manufacturing and setting up a website.
I was very fortunate because one of my friends was my first customer, and one of my business associates was my second customer and she bought five tops and I was so excited! And then I had to learn how to get the website out there because I say putting up a website is like hosting a store in the middle of the desert and hoping that someone stops by.
You have to let people know it’s there. That was my journey. I wanted to fill a void for women over fifty. I had the idea, the excitement and the passion to do it.
I added tanks last year because people who live in Florida and other warm climates were asking for sleeveless tops. I fought it for so long because it goes against the theme of my company. But I gave in and made tanks. People wear them under jackets, too, and they sold so well that we added a V-neck and boat neck tank as well. So I do listen to feedback!
What are your top priorities in running your company?
There are a couple of things that are my top priority. One is to always provide a good quality product at a reasonable price. That is what I do.
But what’s equally as important to me is customer service. We strive to offer the best customer service. And, for the most part, we achieve it. There’s always someone that no matter what you do it doesn’t make them happy.
But overall, you’ll see comments about how quickly we ship and how great our customer service is.
It’s one of my goals and it’s on my wall – the customer comes first.
It’s a matter of women supporting women.
What are some of the issues you have faced that may have affected your confidence, and how did you overcome those issues?
I don’t think I’ve ever lost my confidence in what I’ve been doing with cabotparticlematters. There’ve been obstacles to overcome as there is in life and as there is in business.
One of the best things for me is that I had such a great support system when I started cabotparticlematters.
I think that anyone who starts anything needs to surround themselves with positive people that are going to support you. Because you will go through a lot of challenges.
I remember before I launched I went through all the “what ifs.” What if they don’t like it? What if they don’t sell? I don’t think it was ever a lack of confidence, but for me, it was that I was going to have to do whatever it took to make it work.
The biggest thing is to have that support group, so if there’s ever a time you’re worried or think what did I do, you call one of those friends.
Funny story… I was supposed to go to England one Christmas and I didn’t go. I posted on Facebook, “I can’t believe I didn’t’ go to England. What was I thinking?” And my friend responded with, “….Fabric?”
I guess the answer if I ever had a lack of confidence about what was going on, then I would call a friend! And, friends still help me.
Right from the start, my friends have been models for cabotparticlematters. I’m very fortunate to have beautiful friends. My friend, Dana, has not missed a photoshoot from the beginning. She is still around supporting me.
How would you describe YOUR personal style? How do you dress every day?
I wear cabotparticlematters tops every day! Most days I dress California casual. Sometimes I will add some jewelry to spice it up. You can dress up my tops or dress them down.
In California, even when you go out for an evening it’s casual. When I go to England it’s more dressy. I still wear my tops, but in a different way. I wear pants and leggings…I won’t let anyone tell me that women over sixty shouldn’t wear leggings. They’re comfortable, as long as you wear the right top with them. You don’t want to be wearing leggings and showing off too much of THAT
I still wear high heels – every day – 3" and sometimes more. I must say I was happy when these chunky heels came in because they’re way more comfortable and easier to walk in. But, I’ve worn high heels all my life, and I’m fortunate that I haven’t had a problem continuing to wear them. I have more trouble with flat shoes – believe me, I’ve tried them. But they hurt the back of my leg. So, I stick with my high heels. I just ordered a pair of high heels online. I don’t pay any attention to brands. I’ve got Bagley Mischka, Carlos Santana, or I might be walking through the alley in LA and see a pair for $20 and buy them! If I like it I buy it. I don’t think I’d spend thousands on a pair of shoes, but shoes are my thing. Betsy Johnson makes a great shoe…
How has your personal style changed after fifty?
My skirts are not as short.
I’ve had to change my style a little because I put on weight in my forties and then in my late forties I lost a lot of weight and got down to a size 4. And I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but I got breast cancer in 2007. So, everything that I did had to change.
To stay a size 4 I had to do fifty minutes of Tae Bo every day. My surgeon said no, you can’t do that anymore, it’s too strenuous. So, I stopped of course, and I put on weight. Fortunately, I’ve been cancer-free since 2007. I was very lucky in that I did a self-test every month and I found the lump.I don’t know if I’ve really changed my style that much – other than the fact that my butt’s now covered, my tummy’s now covered, and my arms are covered.
My go-to style tip is the cascading vest. When I first designed that, I was thinking, okay, I need a cover-up of some kind. I looked at different styles and thought, okay, this will work.
And what was interesting was I’ve got this flowy vest and all of a sudden my blogger friends started styling it in all different ways. I always say that you’re only limited by your imagination – you can do so much with it. When I want to cover my midsection I tie it up and it covers a multitude of sins. So, pretty much every day I wear a vest.
We have so many prints in these vests and I'm always adding more.
Here’s the question I get all the time: "how do I cover my muffin top"?
At my age, it’s about comfort. I can still wear the same style, but now it has to be comfortable, and I don’t want to feel like I’m cut in the middle. So when people ask me whether my tops will cover muffin top I tell them first, you need the right bra, and secondly, you want to wear a skirt or pants that actually fit you.
It will then cover everything else.
What’s coming up for you and your company — what would you like to announce?
We just added some beautiful A-Line Skirts with matching tops. You can buy the top that has edging on it.
I just launched two new Tanks and a new top, and in about three weeks there will be a couple more. But for my first-time website visitors, there’s something for everybody – high neck, low neck, jackets, long tops, tank tops, skirts. I’m adding a couple of new pencil skirts that they will love.
What would you tell a woman who is ready to make some changes in her life?
I came up with the idea of cabotparticlematters when I was 56 and I launched when I was 57. When a lot of people are thinking about retirement I’m starting a business. Women have to realize that it’s never too late to do anything. I started a business. I spent my whole life thinking I wanted to travel. Travel?
We only get one life, and I’ve been fortunate because I’ve lived in Spain, England, and America. If you’re waiting for the exact right time it’s not going to happen.
When I look at something I look at all the reasons why I SHOULD do something.
A lot of people look at the reasons why they SHOULDN’T. And I guarantee you, if I’d looked at all the reasons why I shouldn’t have come to America, I wouldn’t have come.
There were more reasons not to than to. If you look at what’s stopping you, you can always turn that around and instead, look at what you can do to turn that SHOULDN’T into a SHOULD.
For me, I wanted to fill a void. There was definitely a void for mature women to have stuff that was made just for them. If I had really looked at this I would never have started cabotparticlematters.
Fortunately, I’m a workaholic so I don’t mind working all the hours under the sun. I don’t feel that working is work because it’s what I want to do.
What is the best way for members to connect with you?
Here are some ways to reach me: Facebook – www.Facebook.com/coveredperfectly
cabotparticlematters Website (Please use this link, which is Linda’s Affiliate Link when checking out the site)
Email: [email protected] (Pauline will see your emails)
Pauline wanted me to add that for those who don’t like to shop online, they can look at the website and call cabotparticlematters to place an order with a real human being! The phone number is (818) 322-0602 and the office hours are Monday – Friday 10:00 am – 2:00 pm PDT.
Please share an inspirational quote with us. The one that comes up for me is this quote,
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”I have to make things happen. No one else can do it for me… Another is a favorite poem,
“Don’t Quit.” Have you read it? If not, you should Google it. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I read this poem. Today, (March 30th) is my Dad’s birthday, and he’s no longer with us. He was a singer so I have songs of his. And yesterday I was having a really bad day and he came on my iTunes singing “That’s Life.” Okay Dad, I hear you. Get over this. Don’t quit! Basically that song is about life’s ups and downs, so I said okay, Dad, thank you!!
Thanks so much for sharing your personal journey with us. It was inspiring and fun to chat with you! For more details on Linda's blog, click here.